It’s been more than a year since my husband and I took our last breaths.
At that point, the only way we’d be able to say goodbye to each other was if we would take our own lives.
The day we took our final breaths, we were told that the only reason we could ever have our own children was if our baby was born in the first six months of 2018.
That was just not something that I felt comfortable with.
It made me feel so guilty for letting him down, for making him feel like a burden.
We were also told that we were the only ones who could ever be able do it.
After all, we had our own life plans, our own dreams, our future.
So, why would we want to kill ourselves?
In the days that followed, I found myself thinking about the questions that I’d never ask my husband, and I began to understand what he was feeling as he struggled to find the courage to take his own life.
But there was one more question that I was never going to ask him, and that was, why did I want my baby to die?
I was not ready for that answer.
So I left that conversation at that moment.
After the surgery to remove my uterus and ovaries, I was told that I would never be able come back to my husband.
He was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in December 2018, and in April 2019, I lost my battle with stage IV pancreatic cancer.
The cancer has spread to his liver and kidney and has already killed three of my nine children, so I am currently in the hospital with no hope of ever having a child.
As of August 2019, the disease had spread to my pancreas, and the cancer has metastasized into my lung.
My doctor has told me that he thinks the cancer may have spread to the brain.
The diagnosis of pancreatic and liver cancer in my family has given me a strong sense of hopelessness and helplessness, as I am constantly worried about what is going to happen to my children.
But, like many of my siblings and family, I still have my hopes.
I still love my husband dearly, and we are very thankful for all that we have, and all that he has done for me.
I also believe that, at the end of this year, I will have my baby and be able go back to live with him and take care of him.
But for now, I am not prepared to give up.
I have made the decision that I will never ask him for anything in life.
I do not want to be alone with him.
I cannot imagine living without him.
In fact, I have started to wonder whether I should ever ask for anything from him again.
I am a survivor of pancreatice cancer, and this diagnosis has changed everything about me.
At the same time, I know that I am living a life of hope.
For the first time in my life, I hope that my family will be able care for me and my children and that I’ll be able raise my children in a healthy environment.
And if I do have children, I’m certain that I won’t have to go through a lot of emotional pain and trauma.
I hope to find a job and be a successful mom someday, and as a result, I plan to focus on my job, and not worry about anything other than my health and my family.
I know now that my mother-in-law is not a stranger.
She will always be there to help me if anything is needed.
She understands my journey and is willing to share with me everything that she has learned about cancer.
In the future, she has been so supportive, and she has given us the support to overcome the obstacles that we’ve faced and to make our way through the cancer process.
In this way, I can make my own choices in life and, in the process, give my children hope and comfort and hope for the future.
But even though my husband is still alive, he is no longer my only support.
My oldest child, Grace, is the most important person in my heart.
Her strength, her compassion, her love and her determination have made my life a better place for all of us.
In August 2019 alone, Grace was able to get her life insurance plan through the Affordable Care Act and get a job at the local Walgreens.
Grace’s family also is a part of the Affordable Health Care Act.
They have been able to take advantage of many of the same benefits that Grace has, like coverage for their children’s and senior citizens’ health care.
They are also able to afford to have their own doctor, and they can keep all of their prescription drugs.
In addition, Grace and I have found that we are able to do more to support our children in terms of getting the medications that we need for our illnesses.
And even though she has her own medical problems, Grace is always there for me when